People may argue that there's no harm in changing for the better. Which I agree, heck if someone wants to change for the better, you can bet my prayers will be with them. But I think it's not necessary for you to change "for the better" when "the better" is what someone else wants from you. You change for yourself, because YOU want to be the better person yourself. Not because you want someone else to like you.
From my break ups, one of the reasons given to me was because apparently I've gotten way too clingy. ... For the longest time I tried to prove him wrong, "I'm not clingy! Everybody knows I'm independent. Even my own parents think I'm independent". So I tried, I tried becoming less and less clingy, thinking that'll make me "better".
Recently I've come to terms that, you know what, so WHAT if I AM clingy? I don't see any problem with my "clinginess". I don't act like a psychotic girlfriend, I'm not crazy telling he has to spend all his time with me. I know I am independent, but at the same time I like to manja with people I love (be it my family, my friends or my boyfriend). These are the people that I am comfortable enough with to let loose with, to rant to, to seek comfort in. If my "manja"-ness is deemed as "clingy", then so be it.
Me: I've come to accept the fact that I am clingy. And I've decided that if someone has a problem with that, they can leave. I'll find someone who's able to tolerate with my clinginess. I mean, I found Zayana!
And I swear, nobody deals with my clinginess like Zayana does. Okay, maybe my mother when I'm home. I still remember me crying in her room before 7AM,
Mummy: Aiyooo.. Jangan lah nangis... I have a meeting later at 9... I need to sleep somemore... Can you do this later?
There's no love like a mother's love ain't it? But anyways, I know all my other friends deal a lot with me too, but they don't live with me. So they don't go through what Zayana has to go through with me.
BUT.
At the same, as clingy as I am, God gave me someone equally as clingy (if not more :p).
Pisang: You know, when he told me he's going away for camp for 3 days, my first thought was "It's okay... I have Aisya.. I'll cling on to her instead".
& She did..
--
Pisang: You know, when I saw my sister's photos in Disneyland, I'm like, "UNTUNGLAHHHHH! IT'S OKAYYYYYYY! I'll drag Aisya to Disneyland and then I'll take pictures like that tooooooooo".
& She did........ (Now the whole world knows why I went to Disneyland :p Can I nominate myself for bestfriend of the year award yet?)
--
Pisang: Aisya... I need human interaction...
*10 minutes later I decided I wanted to go and makan*
Pisang: WAIIITTT! Don't leave meeeeeeee!
& She runs after me..
--
Pisang: See, I've never had a boyfriend that will publicly show their love for me. But you know what, God is fair, He gave me Aisya. See look at her Instagram, "scroll, scroll, oh look! There's me! Scroll again, And there's me again! And look she even hashtagged it forever & love!".
God.. The things we settle for...
So my point is, DO NOT change yourself just because of someone's opinion about you. Most of the time these people don't matter anyways. "People that matters, don't care (about your appearance/annoying quirks etc). People that do (care), don't matter" #whatmymommataughtme. Eventually you'll find someone who's willing to tolerate these little little things about you. May not be in the form of your significant other (yet. InsyAllah one day you'll find the one that will) but there'll be someone.
Pisang: WELLLLLL, I'm sorry mother I do not have a boyfriend who will #love #forever #tilJannah for me!!
Me: ... Sokay! You have me! Come Zayana, we take another photo I post on Instagram with #tilJannah k?
Pisang: .... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Idiot!
You know what they say, you make a girl laugh, she's yours :p
#forever #love #tothemoonandback #thenbackagaintothemoon #clingyterlebih #tilJannah #insyAllah #dahcukup?
