Trust is a privilege, not a right

She isn’t going to trust you right away, that’s just a simple fact. And it’s not meant to be insulting — it just is. When your trust has been broken you’re not super willing to just give it away again. Trust takes time, but it will come.

Source: Thoughtcatalog

Heroine

I think I have been dancing to Bollywood songs even before I could understand what on Earth is the movie is about. I used to repeat the songs over an over again until I can literally dance to the entire song like how they do it in the movie.. I know, I'm a little fanatic, teehee!

When one of my Managers at work told me that she goes to a dance class with her boyfriend's mum (and the mum's friends) I got too excited!

"OMG! So fun!" in the most bimbotic, excited tone you can think of and these days it's very hard to get me to be excited about anything.

And when she asked me if I wanted to join (because everybody at work knows my love for SRK) I swear it was like she made one of my life dreams to come true :') 

And when I went to the class and the instructor was teaching us the steps to Criminal (not the MJ one, but the one from a SRK's movie), it was like someone transported me to India and I'm in one of the studios practicing as SRK back up dancers or something.. 

So syok! 

Now I know why Bollywood heroines are so fit and fabulous - if they have to hafal steps to at least 3 songs for 1 movie and each song is at least 3 minutes long..... They're literally getting paid to work out lah (which is like one of my life dreams also). The instructor made us dance to a song which was 12 minutes long non-stop (must be one of the songs from one of the artist's performance at an award show..) and I swear the glow I had on my face after that, no facial can beat! So rosy and I look so healthy (because half of the time I am as pucat as a corpse)! We also found out that the-thing-people-use-to-count-how-many-steps-in-a-day-they-make registered a whooping 4000 steps during that one hour dance class.. That's like my daily average I think!  

So now I am seriously rethinking my career choices.. Is there any opening to be SRK's heroine?

Twilly

Today after dinner, 

Mummy: Where are you going?

Me: Bangsar

Mummy: Why?

Me: Pick something up

Mummy: Pick what up?

Me: Something.. Can you just play along with me?

Mummy: No... I'm not in the mood for suspense and guesses

Me: Well you don't have to guess you can just wait til I come back..

See, I'm not so big on words sometimes. It requires proper sit down and thinking for me to "vomit-out" how I feel about someone/ something - most of the time it involves some teary eyes and tissues.. 

About an hour later I came back and told her, 

Me: Since I can't afford Hermès yet... Here you go! 

See what I meant by not so big on words? 

How I choose to send my mother a reminder that I love her very very very very very very much: 

I got her the Duck Mother's Day twilly (and scarf) that says exactly that.

And honestly I got teary eyed seeing that she actually bothered to change her twilly, put it on and send me the picture even though its not the original twilly :") 

InsyAllah Mummy, one day I will be able to afford you the real thing and more. 

Blending In

I go through my life not actually caring about what people think of me. You have your own opinions, & so do I.. You can never expect everybody's opinion to match yours. That's my belief. But, I do however wonder of what or how do people see me, just like out of curiosity you know.. 

"I walk around with my mum's handbags - do they think I am a spoiled unappreciative brat?" 

"I am born with strong facial features which gives me a RBF - do they think I am scary/ a bitch?"

"When I go to a cinema, I bring a blanket (cause I can't locate my favourite grey sweater, plus it's so handy if I want to duduk bersila while wearing a skirt/ a dress) - do they think I am weird?"

Or do they just think that I am just another empty chair?

Magic & Light that He placed in you

"If you've failed bad, been hurt, felt sadness or a pain so great that your nerves ache...but you found in yourself the strength and courage to pick yourself back up, only to find peace once again, then you've found the magic and light that He placed in you when you were created."

Find that magic and let the light shines through.